Conflict escalation and how to intervene before it’s too late
Photo by Zdeněk Macháček on Unsplash
There is a lot of tension in the air at the moment. One week into lockdown #2 and there are signs of pent up anger, anxiety, loss, loneliness all around. Aggressive driving, argumentative social media exchanges, impatient interactions in shops, family blow-ups.
If you are lucky enough not to be experiencing overt conflict at work, it is likely that there are conflicts brewing under the surface.
Workplace conflict is unavoidable at the best of times. In times of prolonged uncertainty, our emotional resilience is lower. This means our ability to regulate our emotions and reactions is reduced. And this creates the conditions for conflict to occur and for it to escalate.
The current uncertainty and lockdown restrictions have created the conditions for conflict in every workplace up and down the country. Understanding how organisational conflict escalates can help us to spot the early warning signs and to work out how to intervene to resolve it.
At the earlier stages of conflict, managers are usually best placed to nip issues in the bud through using informal mediation skills. At later stages, consider bringing in a professional mediator to provide the safety, impartiality and skill required to resolve messy, entrenched conflicts.
So what are some warning signs that conflict is escalating?
Be on the look out for:
Corridor conversations. These are an indication that trust is absent as people are not able to talk directly to each other. Things quickly escalate if this goes unchecked as the conflict starts to draw more people in.
DIs-engagement in meetings. This is an indication that psychological safety might be absent. People either feel fearful to express their opinions freely or they are resigned to their voice not being heard.
Increased email traffic. This indicates a possible avoidance of each other and can inadvertently escalate conflict.
Artificial harmony. An absence of healthy debate and disagreement stifles creativity and collaboration, and is usually an indication that people don’t feel safe to make mistakes or speak their mind. Conflict is likely to be lurking under the ‘niceness’ on the surface.
Tips for preventing conflict from escalating out of control:
Don’t ignore conflict in the early stages. It might feel scary or unnecessary to face it now, but ignoring it will inevitably lead to escalation. Try to get issues on the table early, before they fester and spiral. A simple way to do this is to make non-evaluative observations and be curious. For example, ‘I noticed that you didn’t say anything in the team meeting yesterday - I wondered what the reason was for that? Is there anything you would like to talk to me about?’
Normalise the expression of difficult feelings. Make space in every one-to-one and team meeting for the question ‘how are you feeling?’ Normalising the sharing of feelings stops an unhealthy build up of emotions that can result in explosions or implosions.
Prioritise listening. Be intentional in how you listen to your team. Try summarising to show that you’ve heard. This will be cathartic for staff and will encourage them to speak up if they have any concerns or niggles.
And lastly - try to remember that it is usually not personal. Much of the conflict playing out in workplaces is caused by the wider, stress-inducing circumstances we have all found ourselves in this year. If you can create the conditions for empathy in your workplace, you will go a long way towards preventing conflict from escalating.
Would you like to learn how to manage and de-escalate conflict? Join my upcoming workshop - Conflict for Good: Mediation Skills for Modern Leaders. Early bird discount expires at midnight on Friday 13th November.
